Intimacy

 

Intimacy
A Poem by Raederle Phoenix
Written in 2004
Sophomore Year

Cold, pilled, bed sheets...

Old, stale, sweet treats...

Queer, blank, gray walls...

Hear my love calls...

Sold my heart away...

Saw you leave today...

Tears on my part...

Fears in your heart...

Told me; “Let go.”

I simply replied; “No.”

Fears on shallow ice...

Here’s my old life;

Laughter, love, lips, lust...

Lingering light; now dust...

Aching ashes, boiling blood...

Sauntering still, murky mud...

Lies in your eyes,

Sweat in my thighs,

All now broken ties,

My love never dies.

— Raederle Phoenix

2004

Note: I wrote this poem in my head, line by line, repeating them to myself as I walked home from school. This was written a short time after my first love broke up with me. I was utterly heartbroken and began each day with a heavy ache in my chest which followed me all day and was still there when I went to sleep.

© 2004 Raederle Phoenix West. Some Rights Reserved.

These lyrics are the original work of Raederle Phoenix West. 

You may share them digitally for non-commercial purposes, 

as long as full credit is given and the text remains unaltered. 

Any commercial use, performance, or adaptation requires written permission.

Fire

Fire
A Spoken Word Poetry Performance by Raederle Phoenix
2004
Written Sophomore Year


I am
dazed with rage and fire
confused like my,
adrenalin’s caged with my left foot in my grave,
the fire on my back-burner has been turned to blaze;
head spinning crazed for days,
my blood runs over burning holes in my cage,
forever and even slowly becoming an eternity...

And now eternity is my certainty to absolutely get the best of me,
as I stand here,
foul and anything but near,
I feel a single tear,
and the only thing I can hear
is my own voice cracking,
slacking and out of tune,
I feel myself backing,
stuck in this new place,
trapped and recapped,
slapped and snapped,
now corrected never quite perfected.
This thought is over dissected,
inaccurately selected,
suggested to just let these words fall directed
to this interjected lack of security and uncertainty.
Will it now get the best of me?

So I’m destroying the cage,
busting out of this maze,
a labyrinth I’ve been stuck in since my early days.
Until the fire in me dies out,
until the child in me cries out,
until I decide to turn the lights out.
I’ll stand here,
right here,
telling all of you my feelings,
to anyone so near,
that happens to hear,
anyone here willing to follow and give me their ears.

So now my only fear,
is left for you all to hear,
is that my words will disappear,
never heard,
thought absurd,
couldn’t be referred,
to the place I belong in,
the place I’m gonna drown in,
the place I will die in,
if only you would listen,
head me,
let me lead thee,
to my place,
with my face,
for your race,
I’ll lend you my grace just so that my rage can be let out of it’s cage
with fire ablaze,
and they’ll hear my rage,
no matter their age.

All so that my fear to disappear wont become reality to challenge me,
destroy me,
and all become too clear that my fear has come true,
right in front of you.
I will disappear and no one will hear.

Yes, in this mess,
a message to hear,
I’m disappearing.
Yes, in this mess,
a message to hear,
I’m disappearing.
Yes, in this mess,
a mess to hear,
I’m disappearing.
Yes, a mess,
a mess to hear,
I’m disappearing.
Yes, a mess,
I’m disappearing.
Yes, I’m
disappearing.
I’m disssssssssss . . .


~ Raederle Phoenix

© 2004 Raederle Phoenix West. Some Rights Reserved.

These lyrics are the original work of Raederle Phoenix West. You may share them digitally for non-commercial purposes, as long as full credit is given and the text remains unaltered. Any commercial use, performance, or adaptation requires written permission.