Teenage Polytheism

 

Teenage Polytheism
by Raederle Phoenix
2005-2007

Bast has thrown a festival for my piety,

Seth has given me strength for the society,

Venus has brought my love out to pour,

Mars has enlisted me into a holy war!

Whirling, twirling, swirling, 

I’m dizzy and I’m curling,

into a ball, because I’m afraid to fall,

and I’m beginning to crawl,

I can’t walk anymore,

I can’t talk like before,

I’m changing, and I’m blaming

you for me never being the same,

and I’m folding this paper into a crane,

the way you move your neck,

to see what I’m about to peck.

this berry, so sweet and red,

I’m twisting, turning, into a new fight,

burning into a new realm of sight,

learning but it’s blurry and hazy,

Have I always been so lazy?

Have I always been so crazy?

I don’t remember being a member

of this December weather.

I don’t know how I always missed the flow,

and was looked on with woe.

I’m inside out, no longer any time to pout.

This is no time to flout.

But let me tell you what this is about...

I’ve made so many mistakes,

bigger than all of the great lakes,

and I’m telling you for goodness sake,

I have finally come to this great wake.

You know what you have seen,

such a blundering silly teen,

but no more of this sippy-cup,

it’s time for me to finally grow up.

By 
Raederle Phoenix
2005-2007

Note: I wrote this when I was, of course, a teenager. The first draft comes from 2005 when I was 16, and made a major update in 2007 when I was 18. It would feel wrong to change it much now (in 2025) but I have changed the punctuation a little and took out a word I didn't quite understand back then . . .

© 2005-2025 Raederle Phoenix West. Some Rights Reserved.

These lyrics are the original work of Raederle Phoenix West. You may share them digitally for non-commercial purposes, as long as full credit is given and the text remains unaltered. Any commercial use, performance, or adaptation requires written permission.

The Little Train That Can’t

 

The Little Train That Can’t
by Raederle Phoenix
2005: Junior Year

I write rants.

I hate pants.

I eat plants.

I can’t, I can’t, I can’t...

I can’t let you know what’s on my mind.

I can’t let you glow, that’s my find.

I can’t let... I can’t...

I’m not the little train that could.

I’m the little train that would.

I’m the little train that should.

I’m the little girl who didn’t.

I’m the whirl that sweeps me down.

I’m the girl that fell to the ground.

I’ve left without swirl or sound.

I’m not a square, I’m quite round.

I’m in this dare to be found.

You can’t find me,

You can’t relate to me...

You can’t, you can’t, you can’t...

You’re the little quirk that said it.

You’re the little squirt that did this.

You’re the cold one with an dark kiss.

I can’t... I won’t... You can’t...

You can’t leave me tonight.

I won’t leave without a fight.

I can’t make you see this right.

I think I should,

I think I would,

I think I can’t,

I think I can’t...

I know I can’t.

I know I can’t.

I know I can’t,

but I think we could.

— Raederle Phoenix

2005

© 2005 Raederle Phoenix West. Some Rights Reserved.

This poem is the original work of Raederle Phoenix West. 

You may share them digitally for non-commercial purposes, 

as long as full credit is given and the text remains unaltered. 

Any commercial use, performance, or adaptation requires written permission.

Note: Like my other poetry from 2005, I was sixteen at the time. This was partly inspired by my second love, but it was more a general expression that there was magic in togetherness – that believing in oneself was insufficient to achieve all that I wanted. Looking back (in 2025), I can see the beginning threads of much more sophisticated thoughts I expressed much later in essays on community.